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the new beau while remaining blissfully
oblivious to their flaws. Idealisation and an
overwhelming preoccupationwith them is
yet another part of our biology.
This is also the exploratory stage, where
couples spend a lot of time in getting to
know each other, and if they bond strongly
here, they move on to the third stage,
attachment.
Stage 3: Attachment
If a relationship is to last, then this stage
plays a very important role. Attachment
signals a longer, more subdued commit-
ment. This is how you still feel immense
love for your partner even though you
have to take the trash out or clean up the
cat litter box. This bond keeps couples
together when they have children. In
this stage, two very important hormones,
Oxytocin andVasopressin, playmajor roles
in social attachments.
The Hormones
Adrenaline
The initial stages of falling for someone
activate your stress response. It’s a scary
thing and your body knows it. Large
amounts of adrenalin are pumped out;
it’s your body’s way of saying “I got
your back brah!” However, this has the
charming effect of compulsive sweating,
a fast beating heart and a drymouthwhen
you bump into your new love.
Cortisol
Another way your body keeps you pro-
tected is by releasing amounts of cortisol
aka hydrocortisone. This is in response
to the new stress you’re feeling, not ex-
actly surprising that falling in love is an
extremely scary thought.
Dopamine
When you’re in love, you’re on a con-
stant high, much like a cocaine addict.
Dopamine sends out an intense rush of
pleasure. And when you’re on a love high,
you’re just bursting with energy, you have
no need for sleep or food and you’re a lot
more focused.
Serotonin
When you’re in love, serotonin levels
drop. Serotonin has a mild calming effect,
which may explain why we find it hard
to concentrate on anything other than
our partners during the early stages of a
relationship.
Oxytocin
This is the mother of all hormones. Re-
leased right after intimacy, this hormone
deepens the feelings of attachment. It
makes you feel closer and helps cement
a stronger bond between the both of you.
This hormone is also released post-partum
by mothers who nurse their babies.
Vasopressin
Another one of those intimacy hormones,
this one is released longer into the relation-
ship, once your body has acclimatised to
its new love-sickways. It helps form stable
bonds, chemically inducing you to some
amounts of devotion.